May 2013
mom: you haven't moved since I left the house 6 hours ago wtf
me: excuse me where do you think these chips came from
homleschapel:
summer is real cute until every fuckin type of insect comes out of the 8th circle of hell
I think the real question is why should a girl shave, preen and diet herself into oblivion for a guy in sweatpants and a t shirt who hasn’t trimmed his pubes in 3 years.
crumzinmahlap:
did it hurt? when u fell from someones butt into the toilet water u piece of shit
Watchlizzlemcguizzle:
i take you to the candy shop
theanti90smovement:
sorry i cant hang out with u today i have to catch up on my crying
Today in nutrition class our teacher told my lesbian lab partner to put her birthday cupcakes away because it was inappropriate for the class
So she asked our teacher if she was afraid she’d catch the gay
javaddward:
anonymously tell me your credit card number ill reply with what I bought
friedpanko:
pomo-de-la-puerta:
the-yolocaust:
incest
outcest
Shake it all aboutcest
do the hokey-pokey and turn yourself aroundcest
caitlynsfeels:
theanti90smovement:
i kissed a boy once and now i am immortal
basically the young adult section of any bookstore
robertoluongo:
in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke
steelplatedhearts:
Alternate title for The Great Gatsby:
I Am Uncomfortable With Your Personal Drama And I Want To Go Home: The Nick Caraway Story
meladoodle:
A GRILL IS A GRILL THIS IS SURELY SO AND FRIES SHOULD BE FRIES EITHER WAY BUT THIS GRILL IS NOT A HOME THIS IS NOT THE STOVE I KNOW
pizzaforpresident:
if i was trapped inside a room filled with explosives and the only way out was to eat a whole tomato i would die
